They just want to be friends

Warning. This post is going to be an extreme rant. The biggest rant I have done on the blog. Make sure you are in a comfortable seating position and have a tea before you continue reading.

"They just want to be friends"

If you own a reactive or fearful dog, I know you would have heard this before when walking your pooch. Sometimes it's to your face in a kind tone, sometimes it's aggressive, often it's under their breath as they pass you and also just as often it is paired with training advice on why my dog is like how he is. This comment is back handed, and it honestly makes no sense but boy does it drive me up the wall.

I am not a woman of confrontation. I avoid confrontation at all costs generally. I don't like to complain when eating out, I hate writing bad reviews to companies, and I hate telling people what they are doing is wrong. I am one of those humans that just scuttle pass, trying not to make eye contact. I often have to eat around things I specifically asked to be left off my plate, because I don't want to ruin their day by complaining. So when people say this to me, I just smile and keep on walking. Inside though, I am fuming. This is why this post now exists.

"They just want to be friends"

Sorry, who is they? Do you know my dog, have you met my dog, do you even know my dogs name? I could ask many more questions of the above since you are assuming you know my dogs thoughts at that current moment. Sure, you are allowed to speak for your own dog, but I doubt he will be enjoying himself either when he is stuck to you on a leash while my dog on his leash is trying to bite his face.

I correct myself above, often the other dog is not on a leash.

Diego is not a bad dog, nor is he super aggressive. He is definitely reactive though. He doesn't want dogs in his area, and he will make that clear by giving warning nips in their direction. I make sure Diego only currently has contact with dogs I know he will be good around, I have sought out professional help, and I keep him on leash when their is potential for other dogs being around. I am doing this for Diego's protection, because although reactive, it is mainly due to fear. So if the other dog doesn't take well to Diego's warning growl and nip, things can turn nasty quick. Diego never comes out on top. He never has once drawn blood on another dog due to reactivity.

So when your dog comes flying up to us while you are metres behind screaming "They just want to be friends" don't blame me if I have to physically stop your dog. My dog's life is more important than your apparent incompetence for looking after your dog. Not every dog wants to meet your friendly labrador and you need to respect that. If you see a dog on lead, you put yours on lead. If you see someone physically trying to get their dog as far away from yours as possible, you do the same with yours. Its common courtesy. When we are dealing with animals that can and will hurt each other, just accept that this one dog to dog meeting is not worth it.

Also. Do not whisper under your breath "They just wanted to be friends, but whatever" because you don't know that. Fine, I'll let my dog off leash to come rush yours and start a fight. You can therefore not complain because you clearly stated "They just want to be friends".

Not every dog wants to be friends with every other dog. Just like how I don't want to be friends with most of the people I meet in my life. I can walk past them and smile, but I do not need to be their friends. If they rushed into my space, I too would not be happy. I believe that feeling is mutual amongst all humans. Let's for once in our lives anthropomorphise dogs in a good way and imagine ourselves being run up to by an unknown stranger. They are immediately pressed into our bodies and are shoving their hands out in a greeting. How would you react? Would you happily shake this random persons hand and allow them into your personal bubble? Would you immediately become friends with this person and invite them around for coffee? No. Well, neither does my dog.

I didn't mean or want to make this condescending and probably useless post but it has really got to my last nerve. If you are an owner with a reactive dog I feel like this will truly resinate with you and just know you are not alone in these struggles. If you are an owner with a friendly dog, please take this as feedback and start putting your dog on leash more. Us as reactive dog owners already deal with a lot, it would be lovely if you didn't have to make our walks any harder.

And for those of you following Diego's Reactivity Story, I will be putting up a part two next week where I tell you about our professional help.

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Lucky Dog by Dr Sarah Boston

I feel like I haven't done a book review in ages! I go through stages of really loving reading, and will do it in every spare (and un-spare that I make spare) minute and then I won't read again for months. Recently, I got back into reading but it was more crime novels and nothing that I felt related to Daisy Pets. That was until I picked up Lucky Dog by Dr Sarah Boston. The tagline for this book is 'How being a veterinarian saved my life', which really grabbed my attention. If you didn't know, my job goal all my life was to be a veterinarian, right up til 16 when I realised I was not in the top 5% of the population.

The problem I have with book reviews, is trying to give you enough information on my thoughts on the book, without giving away the whole book so you don't want to read it yourself. I believe there is a fine line between this and I am not sure which side I border most of the time. We'll give it a go though.

Sarah writes this in first person prospective, and I really appreciate this style of writing. She writes in a way which you truly can grasp her personality, and like myself, I feel she writes how she talks. I find this really engages me in the book, I feel like I become friends with the writer and makes me want to read more. Let me tell you, once I started reading, it was gone within a day or two as I needed to know more about her story.

The book travels along the narrative of Sarah being diagnosed with cancer, while incorporating a lot of stories from life as a vet. It is a wonderful way of writing the story, as you really can see the similarities between the health care system for both humans and canines. If you are looking for a book directly related to pets, this is probably not your book. It definitely follows Sarah's life more than any canine star. However, the sprinkling of animal tales still make it a book worth reading and enjoying for a dog lover.

There are points in the book where I found it hard to read because she is so descriptive in her tales that I felt like the pain or discomfort was appearing on me. Maybe I am just a little weakling, but near the start of the book I was cringing with every word hoping that she would be less descriptive in parts. This doesn't take away from the story, if anything it does enhance it because as I said above, it makes you relate to the writer so much more.

Apart from the parts which made me cringe, it is super easy reading and very easy to read before sleep when you are only half awake. The words are of decent sized, and apart from the medical lingo, I didn't find the English too complex or overwhelming.

All in all, I really enjoyed this book and found it very engaging. If you aren't into medical, death or disease, I would stare well clear. But if you don't mind that kind of stuff, and are interested in the life of a canine cancer vet, this book is 100% for you. I learnt so much that I never previously knew and found it so interesting how cancer in dogs can be treated, but also how it compares to human cancer.

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February Catch Up

How is it already nearly midway through February? I feel like it just became 2018, and already we are flying through the days. I thought I better bring you all up to date on what has been happening for the past month, and what is coming up in the next month.

We have some amazing new products to trial!

• The amazing Daisy's Doggy Deli sent us some Bully Sticks and Kawasoothe balm to trial on Diego. These are some of their newest products, and although we are still starting to trial them, so far both Diego and I are fans. The Bully Sticks are a great alternative to the nasty rawhide, and keep Diego entertained for slightly longer than a split second. The pack comes with a heap of them which will last you days, and like all Daisy's Doggy Deli products, they contain no nasties. The Kawasoothe balm is perfect for putting on cuts, scrapes and irritations on your dogs skin. I have used it on Diego for some injuries he got from his dog fight and although Diego did lick a bit of it off, you could see it working overnight. The smell also doesn't repulse me, which is a surprise because most balms and shampoos for dogs do not smell good to me. 

• I purchased some Honey Wraps and if you haven't heard of these, you need to read this! They are an alternative to plastic glad wrap, so you can wrap any food products in it for transporting, or storing and they don't damage the environment. They are fabric covered in beeswax, which you can wrap around any food and in the fridge it will harden and form around the item. Such an innovative idea, and keeps food so much fresher. I am always looking for ways to make my life less environmentally damaging and this is definitely a great choice! 

• Finally, Pretty Clean NZ has sent us (but not yet received) some of their shampoos and spritzes to trial on Diego. I am super excited for these as Diego needs a good bath and as I said above, I am picky with my scents. They were kind enough to send us a range of their products, and even some extras for Chico/Ollie. 

I have been bedridden with a terrible virus since Thursday 1st of February which has really put me out of action with any blog posts, Instagram and Youtube. I do apologise for that, but it came out of the blue and I was unable to concentrate or stay awake long enough to do much at all. Thankfully a doctors visit has put me back into action and I am well over that virus now.

However, the doctor visit brought up another problem. I have had some pains in my right thumb for a few months now, but I thought it was due to my new, larger phone and I was straining my little hand trying to type and scroll. Due to that, I didn't really tell anyone or care that it had a numb pain. Slowly it seemed to get worse though so while I was there I thought I should ask about it. My doctor thinks I have either torn or ruptured my tendon in my thumb and I am booked in for an ultrasound on it tomorrow. Fingers crossed it's not too bad and won't need surgery!!

While all this was going on, my sister also came home from London to visit us and was staying with Diego and I in my little abode. This was super exciting to see her, and we hung out when I wasn't sleeping my virus off. We also got impulsive, matching tattoos! She has now headed up to my mothers in Whanganui and I will be meeting up with them this weekend.

To top off the crazy past week, my GoPro broke. My GoPro that I purchased at the end of December. I was completely gutted and spent three hours trying to fix it. Thankfully I Googled the error, which it wasn't turning on, and wouldn't charge and it's a known GoPro error. Off to the shop I went and they have confirmed with GoPro that they can just give me a completely new, unopened GoPro from their shop. So tomorrow I get a new GoPro for a second time! Secretly I am quite happy about it, because I noticed I had already got tiny chips on the old one.

I think that catches you up on my past week and a half. I haven't yet finished my 'Copying ______'s Instagram Photos' video yet, due to the illness but have a couple ready and am loving them. I should hopefully have that video completed within the month. I have a bloopers video coming this weekend, and another vlog for the following weekend.

I am heading to Fiji for a week with one of my best friends on the 4th of March. I am taking my GoPro there so if you want to see un-dog related video content from my crazy trip, please let me know. We are staying at the Hilton for a few days, then heading to a tiny little Island to hike, paddle board and swim with sharks. I am super excited, and have an amazing set of togs with Diego's face on them thanks to my other best friend.

Speaking of other best friend, she is about to pop out another daughter which is beyond exciting so if I do miss a post or two later in February, this will be why. I will try not to do as much of a blackout as I did this past week though!

Diego is currently learning to walk between my legs with his feet on mine, to rest his head on the ground while laying down, and to go around an object that I point to. These three tricks are keeping us busy for the next few weeks and I really want to master them all before moving onto our next tricks. If you have any cool ideas for future tricks, let me know.

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Diego's Reactivity - Backstory and Beginning

Since Daisy, I promised myself that I would get a dog that is friendly with other dogs, is not scared of things and takes the world by storm. Daisy was none of those, although to give her some credit she didn't seem scared of anything as she tried to attack dogs ten times her size, and growl at gang members walking past. Unfortunately, when a living being is in the mix, you can't really decide what you are going to get. You can lead them where you want, but in the end, you cannot tell them how to behave.

Diego as a puppy was inquisitive, but nervous. He would get his haunches up and not go near everyday things like a wheel barrow, a random tree stump and even flowers. As a puppy I spent ages taking him to all these new locations and places to try and encourage him to realise the world isn't scary. I made sure random people and children pet him on the streets. I took him to the beach where there was tonnes of dogs, and lots of noises and smells. He slowly grew out of his nervousness and it happened less and less. My aunty owns Diego's brother, Jagger and he has the same nervous tendencies. He doesn't like new things, sounds or people, and he will not allow you close enough to pet if you are unfamiliar. I think this shows that in those early weeks of their development something went seriously wrong. Remember they were from one of New Zealand's only puppy mills.

Diego grew confident but was often bowled over at the beach by over exuberant labradors who would run full speed at him and accidentally knock him over. This didn't effect him then, but I can really see this coming out now that he is older. He went to group walks, was involved in puppy school and was often found playing with other dogs at the local parks. He did live with another dog in those early years, but they didn't play or get on as well as Diego and Chico or Ollie.

When Diego was one and a half I broke up with my long term boyfriend. This was not the best break up, and meant I left him, the house and the dog we lived with all in one day. Not only that, my mother moved from Upper Hutt where we lived to Whanganui two days later. So not only had we lost our new family, we were essentially homeless. Luckily my older sister and brother were here for the Summer and we spent the whole of January travelling between Whanganui to see my mother and Rotorua to hang out with my dad. Looking back I am grateful for that time spent with them, and the many hours of car trips we had.

In February, I found a place in Wellington to live that also had a large black Labrador cross living there. Diego wasn't immediate friends with this dog, and only just tolerated him within the small confines of our flat. During this time I found work, but had to do ten hour days plus an hour and a half travel each day to afford living where we did. Diego did not cope well with this transition from being at home with another dog companion, to travelling with me 100% of the time, to staying at home all day with a dog he couldn't stand. In the end, we had the ranger come over and tell me that Diego was spending all day crying and the neighbours had complained about the noise. One night I was walking Diego and we stumbled into a Greyhound. Diego was overjoyed, and was licking her face and was super excited to see a Greyhound again after missing Chico. That decided my move to Whanganui. That weekend I dropped Diego off at my mothers to live, while I finished my last two weeks at this other job.

In Whanganui, Diego was so much more settled. He hung out with Chico all day, and because I was yet to find a job, he had me at home a lot of the time. It was a good few months and Diego stopped barking or trying to escape when we went out. Unfortunately, I couldn't find work in Whanganui. Whanganui's job market is insane, with hundreds of people applying for one job position. There also isn't a bunch of offices in Whanganui which is what a lot of my previous work had been. Due to this, I couldn't stay. I managed to score my old job back in Upper Hutt, and they wanted me to start that Monday. I called up my aunty who lives in Upper Hutt and asked if she minded me staying for a week while I sorted accommodation for Diego and I.

During this time of looking for a house, which took five months instead of a week, I would work all week in Upper Hutt and then drive home in the weekends to visit my family and Diego. I couldn't have Diego in Upper Hutt with my aunty and I as she owns another dog which is dog aggressive and couldn't be trusted with Diego. This was a long time, and quite difficult for both Diego and I. Mum done such an amazing job of looking after Diego, she treated him like the prince he is, and would call him her grandson. I am forever grateful for my mother and that is just one of the plenty of times she has shown how much she loves and cares about me. 2016 was a hard year for me and I really don't know how I would have got through it without her support and guidance.

Finally, I secured a house that allowed Diego, the pigs and I. Plus it was completely our own, we didn't have to flat with anyone else! This was an amazing opportunity and I still live in this fantastic space to this day. I am once again forever grateful to my friend, Amelia for hooking me up with this house. I finally got to have Diego back with me full time. This was in December of 2016. He came back with some separation anxiety which is to be expected after I came and went every weekend for five months. We managed to work through those issues, which I will have a whole separate blog post about, and now he doesn't mind me leaving the house at all.

This is when issues started to appear more prominent. During my weekends in Whanganui I had noticed him becoming more snappy with dogs, but mum said he wasn't like that during the week, it was only when I was walking him. It also was not with every dog, he just picked and chose which dogs he would snap at. Once he got home to Upper Hutt, it became more and more frequent. At this stage instead of finding help, I retreated. I was scared that people would judge my ownership or my dog. I was scared that people would not like my content anymore when they realised I wasn't a great dog owner. And mostly I was embarrassed that once again I had raised a dog who couldn't be around other dogs.

Inevitably, this made Diego worse. I stopped walking him where I knew other dogs would be, and for a while there just stopped walking him. I didn't allow him to greet other dogs, ever, in case he would snap at them. Slowly this made Diego even more crazy. He started barking on the lead when he saw other dogs in the distance, and I couldn't trust him around any dogs he hadn't previously met. He wasn't full on aggressive, he has never caused harm to another dog. I believe he is just scared. He cries after he snaps, and tries to get away. The minute the dog has left his vicinity, it's like it never happened, he goes back to normal.

I have to admit, this is a hard post for me to write. I am still quite embarrassed about Diego's reactivity, and 100% believe it is my fault that it has got to this point. I hate watching old videos or seeing old photos of Diego as a puppy being able to hang around other dogs. It makes me upset as I know now that he may never be able to fully immerse himself into the dog scene of New Zealand, and I do take the blame for that. No matter what anyone tells me, I will always believe in my heart that it's my fault.

I did get help, and in my next blog post I will explain the process behind that. This is going to be a series where we can follow Diego and I's journey through reactivity. I want to be inspired to work harder towards making Diego a better dog, and instead of hiding Diego away, being able to take him around dogs and not fear that he will attack them. I find that after a situation occurs, I want to stop walking him near dogs, and that is the wrong mindset to be in. I want to be able to take Diego to agility classes, and do more with him. So let's hope with the power of writing and sharing we can get there in the end.

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